lucubrations in nyc <$BlogRSDURL$>

lu·cu·bra·tion (lky-brshn) n. : Writing produced by laborious effort or study, especially pedantic or pretentious writing. Often composed late at night, under candlelight.


Conversations That Should Have Never Taken Place 

A: May I please have a delicious hot dog of the king variety?
B: Sorry, no hot dogs.
A: What do you mean no hot dogs? Your cart says hot dogs on it.
B: Sorry, we only sell oranges and soda.

A: Hey, where should I put my garbage? All these bags are full.
B: Oh, just put up another plastic bag. They're under the sink.
A: But there's no more hook space.
B: Shit, guess we need some more hooks.

A: Do you think someone thought to themselves, 'hey, if we paint the pila area in tri-tone blue and give the tenants colorful buckets, maybe they won't hate doing their laundry so much'?
B: Probably not.

A: Hey, we should probably move the garbage away from the front door before the chickens and stray dogs get into it. It's also starting to smell.
B: Should I put it in the oil barrel outside?
A: No that doesn't have a bottom anymore, and the trash men won't touch it.
B: Well, let's just leave it here then.
A: Alright.

A: Coffee?
B: Of course.
A: Just a moment.
B: You know, if I saw a dirty machine like that in the United States, I wouldn't even think of touching that coffee. Here? I'm just happy that the electricity is working.

Thanks to AH, who inspired this post.

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